


Far Too Young to Die

by fueledbyfiction



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fluff, High School AU, Kevin only cares about Exy, M/M, Online Friendship, Online Relationship, Slow Burn, Some Harry Potter things because I am obsessed, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, everyone is happy, i can't tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-05-14 17:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fueledbyfiction/pseuds/fueledbyfiction
Summary: Neil is a senior at Millport High School greiving the death of his mother. He immerses himself in playing Exy for the crappy school team and reading books in the corner of the public library. He is surfing a Harry Potter forum, when a post catches his eye. He leaves a comment, not expecting a reply, but it blooms into something that could not exactly be called a friendship, but is pretty close to it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first AFTG fic so feedback is much appreciated. Title is from the Panic! at the Disco song of the same name.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think and feel free to let me know if there are typos because this is unbetaed!

In the first couple months Neil had spent on this forum, he hadn't received any direct messages, and he couldn't lie, the first time it happened it worried him slightly, a feeling left over from his mother's paranoia. He usually kept to the shadows and just read what other people had to say, but he couldn't help leaving a comment when someone had jokingly thought up a wizarding version of Exy. When his mom had died, he had run to Millport and threw himself into Exy and reading to pass the long, lonely hours he spent in his drafty house or in the school library after practice. The library next to the school had computers that were free to use and he had accidentally stumbled across a forum for his favorite book series a couple weeks into the school year. He had set an account up for himself, keeping his username generic as to not attract attention: exyfiend. He had also signed up for various Exy websites with the same username, and it had seemed reasonable to maintain consistency. He relished in the anonymity the internet provided when he stayed under the radar.

It took him a couple minutes for him to work up the courage to open the message, because he still hated drawing attention to himself, but he finally worked up the nerve to press the notification bubble.

_**Incoming Message: readingmenace** ****_  
**I was kidding dude chill you don't have to pick apart the rules anyway itd just be a boring version of quidditch**

Neil recognized the username as the same one he had replied to the day before and mentally slapped himself for having said anything at all. He had only pointed out that if separate restricted wands were used on the court, then referees wouldn't have to worry about players sending illegal spells at each other or using their wands for anything other than simple disarming spells and rocketing the ball across the court. He had thought his comment fairly harmless, and was therefore ready to fight this idiot who had messaged him with a clear challenge in his tone.

**_Outgoing Message to: readingmenace_  
Listen, I don't know what you have stuck up your ass, but I was just trying to improve your rules. Also, it's not that much like Quidditch because there's no flying, different types of balls, no Snitch, or really anything that makes Quidditch Quidditch. The only similarity is that they would take place in the same world.**

Almost immediately after Neil had sent the message and begun scrolling through other posts, a new message popped up at the top of his screen and he opened it just as quickly as it had arrived in his inbox.

**_Incoming Message: readingmenace_  
whatever junkie**

Neil was still ready to fight, but he knew he only had a couple more minutes on the crappy desktop before the school library closed, so he logged out of the forum and pulled up Exy stats to obsess over until he went back to his sorry excuse for a home.

As he read his most recent book before he went to sleep, he found his mind wandering back to the person that had confronted him on the forum earlier. It wouldn’t have been notable if it had happened at school, because as much as he tried to avoid drawing attention to himself, he was often defensive and angry. However, the anonymity that he loved for concealing his identity also meant that he had no idea who he was talking to. For all he knew it could be the Butcher of Baltimore himself.

 

He spent lunch in the library everyday even though he knew he could have sat with the Exy team if he had wanted to. It was a nice haven in the noise of high school, and he was worried that barely eating lunch might bring attention to him, which was the last thing he wanted to do. He still had funds that his mom had used for moving them around, but he tried to save as much cash as he could in case he had to make a quick getaway from Millport. He usually ate just enough in a day that he didn’t faint on his morning run or at Exy practice. As much as he cared only minimally about his well being, he knew that being sent to a hospital would raise questions he wouldn’t be able to answer.

The head librarian was a nice lady, who, when he entered the space every day, smiled at him and said hello. He acknowledged her, but tried not to get pulled into conversations about the Exy team and his favorite books. She knew his name; it was printed on his library card, and he knew that when he left she would inquire after him. He hoped he didn’t have to move before graduation, because it had been hard enough for this school to accept his transfer without meeting his parents.

Millport was small enough that the high school did not have its own library, but was instead built next to the public library, who allowed the students to use it throughout the day. This actually worked better for Neil, who utilized the long hours and the weekend availability. There was a chair in the back corner of the non-fiction section that was ratty and hidden, and Neil had claimed it as his own. He would grab random books off the shelves, reading them more for distraction than for content, spending hours in his secluded little section of the world. The only people that ever ventured there besides Neil were the perky library assistants that were bored enough with their jobs that they were eager to befriend Neil. The girl with the name tag denoting her as Allison most frequently was tasked with shelving; Neil suspected that the others recognized her foul attitude did not work well with sitting behind the customer help desk.

The library assistants worked all three lunch shifts as well as a half an hour before school and an hour after, so when Neil walked out of the building to go to his fifth period math class they all smiled at him as he breezed past. The rest of his day passed in a blur, with nothing of interest happening in his classes. As long as he kept up his good (but not notably great) grades, his teachers largely left him alone, so he was able to finish his worksheets while the teachers talked and then zone out for the rest of the class. He walked out of school at the end of the day and was able to go straight to the library. It wasn’t Exy season, but they still hsd captain’s practices and open gyms relatively frequently. Neil hadn’t skipped any of these extra practices, and was often the last left on the court, staying until Coach Wymack made him go home.

Today, however, he made a beeline for the bank of computers on the first floor of the library. He checked Exy stats and Exy news sites before finally logging into his favorite book forum. He sighed internally when he saw a notification bubble pop up immediately, but repressed the hints of panic he had felt the last time it had happened.

**_Incoming Message: obsessedwithexy_  
Do you play Exy? I loved the addition you left on readingmenace’s post. I don’t know if you follow the Exy scene, but Ginny Weasley would definitely play for the Maine Maidens. My girlfriend has a dream of playing for them that she says stemmed from her love of the Holyhead Harpies as a kid.**

**I don’t know what Exy teams the other characters would fit into, though. What are your thoughts?**

**My name’s Kevin by the way. If Andrew (readingmenace) sent you a message, ignore him. He’s incredible on the court, but a complete asshole off it.**

**_Outgoing message to: obsessedwithexy_  
I play Exy on my school team, but we’re not very good. I can see Oliver Wood playing for the Trojans, but I don’t know what professional team. I can also see Valerian Bryson (from the Connecticut Wolves) playing for the Falmouth Falcons because they have such a strong beater line and I think his backliner qualities would translate well across the sports.**

**P.S. Consider him effectively ignored**.

Neil did not want to give his name even though this “Kevin” certainly had no qualms. Nevertheless, he was more than happy for the message, as this boy was clearly obsessed with both Exy and obscure fictional sports teams on the same level as he was. Neil spent the next couple hours in his ratty orange chair with Quidditch Through the Ages in one hand and Exy All Stars 2018 in the other jotting notes about playing styles in his calculus notebook.

If nothing else, his branching out had given him something to think about when the library closed at promptly 7:45 and he was sent back to his lonely house. For the first time in months, he fell asleep thinking not of his mom, but of boys named Andrew and Kevin who played Exy and talked about books online in their spare time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would y’all mutiny if I made this Kandreil? Or would you keep reading? Let me know. 
> 
> TW: Neil has a panic attack at the beginning of the chapter so let me know if you need more info. A disclaimer, though, I've never had a panic attack so I'm writing from research. If anything is inaccurate feel free to let me know as well.

Neil awakened with a start; he did not know what had woken him, but looked around in a panic. There were no obvious intruders, but he was too on edge at that point to go back to sleep. He got out of his makeshift bedroll and walked around the house, looking for signs of life. Upon finding the space completely devoid of other humans, he returned to the room he had been using as a bedroom and fetched his duffel bag. He opened it and carefully dumped its contents onto the floor. Making sure everything was accounted for, he began to neatly repack the items. He began to flip through his binder, but stiffened at a picture of Kevin Day on the second page.

He was so stupid. Someone named Kevin who couldn't stop talking about Exy approached him online. He should have connected the dots earlier. He needed to find a car, now, get out of this place, now. He needed a new name, a new city. He needed to disconnect himself from technology, disconnect himself from Exy, disconnect himself from Neil. He could feel his thoughts spiraling out of control, even though this was possibly the worst time for him to shut down. His breathing quickened and he was unable to think about anything else. Was there someone named Andrew on the Foxes? He knew he should know, but his brain felt clouded. He felt trapped, surrounded, hunted.

It was a while before he was able to convince his brain that he was safe, that his father had not found him, that it was okay for his breathing to even out and for him to relax a little bit. He got up shakily and splashed some water on his face before peeking his head into all the rooms again to check for signs of life. The house was still deserted and silent, the only noise was the soft humming of his flashlight as he pointed it into all the corners of the house. He knew it was risky to stay in the deserted residence, but sleeping in the Exy locker rooms on the off season would put him at risk for being discovered by all manner of people who had no idea who he was and who would not hesitate to call the cops on him.

He spent the rest of the night pacing, thinking, and worrying. There was a chance that he had just stumbled across the Foxes by accident, as he had actually approached them first. Was it all an elaborate set up? He was tired of running and hoped against hope that it was all just a big coincidence. He had only met Kevin once; he might not even remember the meeting. And if Kevin did know who Neil was, why approach him in that way, why not flat out fly to Millport and corner him? Why give his name willingly as a flashing red warning sign to Neil? Maybe he was trying to get information about Neil’s whereabouts after somehow realizing it was him behind the account, but the simple solution to that would be for Neil to ignore any prying.

In the end, Neil decided that although it was risky, he would stay in Millport. He was just so, so tired of shedding identities to move to new places, and he liked who Neil had become. He liked playing Exy and spending his free time in the library. He liked being able to take both Spanish and Japanese at school without anyone questioning him about it. He liked dutifully ignoring the library assistants as they tried to pursue friendship. He liked having a place to go home to, even if it was lonely and risky for him to stay there. He did not want to leave Neil Josten behind.

He skipped that day of school; he took a nap and brought his clothes to the laundromat. He stopped by a gas station and got a pack of cigarettes. The cashier didn't ask for an ID.

Even if school was easy, it was exhausting sometimes to be around all the chatter and noise that teenagers brought with them. He called himself in sick to the school attendance office from a payphone, impersonating what he thought most fathers probably sounded like. The attendance office didn't ask any questions. Neil was greatful.

After he had accomplished all this, he returned back to his house, wary of the prying eyes of retirees. He read the book he had checked out from the library the day before by the fading daylight and went to sleep as soon as the light was too dim to read by. He was just so, so tired.

The next day he woke up much earlier than usual. Not wasting any time, he went for a longer run than usual to pass the time. After running a fifteen mile loop around the town, he headed to the library. It was Saturday, so he was in no rush as he walked up the stairs to the building. The library assistants only worked on weekdays; they didn't get paid for their work, but got school credits instead. Nevertheless, as Neil walked to the bank of computers, he passed Matt Boyd, who was the most aggressively nice person Neil had ever been near.

Matt waved at him as he entered the small computer lab, “Hi Neil!”

“How do you know my name?” Neil was sure he had never introduced himself to Matt and they shared no classes despite being in the same grade at a small school.

“My girlfriend is your Exy captain. It would also be pretty hard not to know. Everyone talks about you, dude.”

Neil must have looked confused, but Matt just laughed and clarified, “You're smoking hot, dude! You were the mysterious new kid and this town is gossip deprived, of course they talk about you!”

The only thing Neil could say in reply was, “Oh.”

Matt laughed again, “I'll leave you to your work.”

Then, Matt winked at Neil before turning back to the Google Doc he had been working on before Neil had walked in. Neil, a little shellshocked from that encounter, took a place approximately kittycorner to Matt’s computer, as his usual corner spot was taken.

Once he was logged in, he didn't even bother to check Exy stats, but instead logged right into the Harry Potter forum. There was a new message from Kevin, and it was just waffling about Exy stats and Quidditch teams. If he was trying to hurt or get information out of Neil, this wasn't the way to do it. Neil was quietly relieved that the correspondence still seemed fairly harmless. At this point there was almost no doubt in Neil’s mind that this was, in fact, Kevin Day, but he felt he needed to make sure.

**_Outgoing Message to: obsessedwithexy_ **

**Yes! I am excited for the Foxes/ Bruisers game on Saturday. Who do you think is going to win? I know it's unlikely, but I have my bets on the Foxes. Do you play? The school season is coming up fast (unless you're not in high school?).**

However, Neil was surprised to find a message from Andrew as well. He was confused why the boy would seek him out by sending a message when he so obviously hated Neil. He opened the message anyways.

**_Incoming Message: readingmenace_ **

**you can ignore kevin if hes annoying you know.  he doesnt know how to make friends**

**_Outgoing Message to: readingmenace_ **

**He's not annoying. I like to talk about Exy. I'm also not quite sure why you're so concerned about me and Kevin. It's absolutely none of your business.**

**_Incoming Message: readingmenace_ **

**junkie**

**_Outgoing Message to: readingmenace_ **

**You say that, but Kevin says you play. And, not only do you play, but you're incredible, so I'm not sure you can really talk.**

**_Incoming Message: readingmenace_ **

**kevins a cowardly alcoholic who cant get over his abusive ex. he uses exy as a coping mechanism and takes it way too far. whats your excuse?**

**_Outgoing Message to: readingmenace_ **

**That's Ad Hominem fallacy. I can tell you're avoiding the question as well. What's your problem with Exy? Also, if you hate me so much and ignore what I say, why talk to me at all?**

**_Incoming Message: readingmenace_ **

**wow look at you took high school english class and everything.  you're a joke**

**_Outgoing Message to: readingmenace_ **

**From what I can tell, you're a joke. You play Class I Exy, but claim not to care about it. Arguably, you're the best goalie in the league, yet you don't even bother to block most shots on goal. You hate me, yet keep talking to me. So, Andrew Minyard, tell me who the real joke is.**

**_Incoming Message: readingmenace_ **

**you might be interesting after all.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the executive decision to make this Kendreil so feel free to stop reading now if you don't ship it, but if you do: enjoy! Also, my mom put a filter on our wifi and I can no longer access AO3 from my house, so updates may be slower. Sorry!  
> I’ve never actually used google hangouts so sorry if I butchered it, it was just the first online chat website I could think of.

Once Andrew had grudgingly allowed him into their little group, Neil began to get messages from his cousin Nicky as well. Nicky sent very enthusiastic messages that were always miles long, but didn't seem to care when Neil's replies were monosyllabic. Kevin asked for Neil’s phone number, which scared Neil a bit, but when Neil refused to give it to him, Kevin didn’t seem upset or surprised. A couple days later, Kevin sent Neil a username and password for Google Hangouts, and when Neil logged on, he found he had been added to a group chat.  

He didn't quite understand why Andrew was taking him under his wing. When he tried to ask, he was ignored. He didn't know why Andrew had gone out of his way to allow him, an absolute stranger, to be able to chat online with his family and friends. It had obviously been Andrew who had created his account; the password had been set to **crazyexyjunkie321** and the name the account was registered under was Exy Idiot. Thankfully he had kept the same username as he used on the forums he was on.

 

**_New messages from: Foxes and Assorted Other Exy Lovers_ **

**_Saturday, October 27, 1:56PM_ **

**_Nicky_ ** **: heyyyyyy :D :D what are y’all up to I haven't seen you all weekend and you haven't messaged me back on any social media so here I am! Are you alive? :D**

 **_Neil_ ** **: Both Kevin and Andrew have messaged me today so they're presumably not dead.**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: Do you know what this means???? :0**

 **_Neil_ ** **: You're being ignored?**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: it means they like you more than me :(**

 

The other thing about Nicky was that he used an excessive amount of emojis. Neil tried to just ignore them, but Nicky added them to every single text he sent, and the high volume of messages meant that Neil’s inbox was constantly flooded with emotions. As a person who generally did not pay attention to his own emotions and believed them to be secondary to physical wellbeing, Neil wholeheartedly did not understand them.

Andrew usually monitored the conversations Neil had with his friends, either by being in the room with the person texting Neil or by hacking the person’s account to make sure they didn't say anything that would make Neil uncomfortable. Sometimes, though, Andrew asked Neil questions and Neil gave mostly true answers when he could. Now, however, Andrew was apparently ignoring Nicky which meant he was not there to moderate the conversation and keep Nicky in check.

 

 **_Nicky_ ** **: so what do you look like**

 **_Neil_ ** **: what?**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: you know what all of us look like bc were on tv all the time but we dont know what you look like :)**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: also you wont even tell us your first name whatup with that :( :(**

 **_Neil_ ** **: I don't know. I'm pretty average. I just like my privacy I guess**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: oh come on**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: does andrew know your name? he probably scared it out of you already :(**

 **_Neil_ ** **: nope**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: ok ok what's your bday then**

 **_Neil_ ** **: why?**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: i know you wouldn't tell me if I didnt ask and it would be horrible if we missed it**

 **_Neil_ ** **: March 31**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: so are you straight or not bc i am very gay**

 **_Andrew_ ** **: nicky leave him alone**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: you are alive!!!!! :D :D**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: where did you and Kevin go**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: its really quiet without you here bc aaron is out**

 **_Andrew_ ** **: kevin is being dumb but well be back for monday practice**

 **_Nicky_ ** **: did you go to columbia w/out me :’(**

 **_Andrew_ ** **: no.**

**_Andrew Minyard is now offline._ **

**_Neil_ ** **: sorry I gotta go**

**_Exy Idiot is now offline._ **

**_Nicky Hemmick is now offline._ **

 

**_New messages from: Kevin Day_ **

**_Sunday, October 28, 4:23PM_ **

**_Kevin_ ** **: I assume you saw our latest game?**

 **_Neil_ ** **: I couldn't get to a TV, but I saw the highlights online.**

 **_Kevin_ ** **: Damn. No one will pick apart the game properly with me.**

 **_Neil_ ** **: I would love to watch it but my mom won't buy us a TV.**

 **_Kevin_ ** **: I have the file on my computer if you want me to send it to you?**

 **_Neil_ ** **: It might be too large a file to send over email.**

 **_Kevin_ ** **: Oh, yeah. Fuck, I really needed someone competent to check out some of those plays. I'm struggling to reel in the Foxes and to get them all to work together.**

 **_Neil_ ** **: Sorry. I'll try to catch the next one at a sports bar or something, but I hope you realize there's only so much you can do.**

 **_Kevin_ ** **: It's fine. I know I'm overreacting, but I can't help but beat myself up over it.**

 **_Neil_ ** **: So where were you this weekend?**

 **_Kevin_ ** **: Andrew and I just drove around. He can tell when I'm too far in my own head. I like to be on the court every day, but sometimes everyone needs a break. At least that's what my therapist says.**

 **_Neil_ ** **: You see a therapist?**

 **_Kevin_ ** **: Yeah. the deal was that if I cut down on my drinking and saw Bee once a week that Andrew would start trying harder on the court.**

 **_Kevin_ ** **: I know it's good for me, but I've really been struggling with not being able to play and leaving the Ravens.**

 **_Neil_ ** **: I'm sorry man. That sucks.**

**_Kevin Day is now offline._ **

 

**_New Messages from: Andrew Minyard_ **

**_Sunday, October 24, 8:21PM_ **

**_Andrew_ ** **: so wats ur deal**

 **_Neil_ ** **: What do you mean?**

 **_Andrew_ ** **: r u some kinda superfan or reporter or what**

 **_Neil_ ** **: I'm just a guy**

 **_Andrew_ ** **: ok. tell me about yourself**

 **_Neil_ ** **: I'm 5 foot 3, and have brown hair and brown eyes.**

 **_Andrew_ ** **: tell me something real.**

 **_Neil_ ** **: Only if you do too.**

 **_Andrew_ ** **: Okay.**

 

“Neil?”

Neil’s head whipped around to follow the voice that had startled him into reality. Renee was standing in the doorway, smirking a little at his shock. She regularly volunteered, far exceeding her requirements as a school library assistant.

“Sorry, but the library closed five minutes ago, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Oh! Sorry. I just lost track of time,” Neil was intimidated by Renee. He knew it sounded silly, because Renee was always nice to everyone, and devoted to her church, but Neil had also seen the girl play Exy, and knew just how fierce she could be when she played backliner. Neil was sure he was just being paranoid, but her entire personality just seemed like a mask hiding something darker to him.

He quickly sent a reply to Andrew, so he wouldn’t think Neil had chickened out, then closed the browser so Renee wouldn’t be able to read the messages over his shoulder.

 

 **_Neil_ ** **: Sorry, but it will need to be tommorrow Im getting kicked out**

**_Exy Idiot is now offline._ **

 

Neil was fairly certain Renee had not read his messages, but by the time he had closed the tab, she was next to him, and saw the video he had open on YouTube, a fifteen minute compilation of clips from the college Exy games that had happened in the past week.

“Did you watch the Raven’s game on Friday?” Neil knew she was just trying to make conversation, but he cringed a bit anyway.

“No, but I do wish I had caught the Foxes’. I hear their new goalie is really good.”

“Andrew Minyard? He’s incredible. I heard the Ravens tried to recruit him and he refused them. Do you want to watch Sunday’s game with us? We watch almost every game at Nino’s down the road. Their pizza is really good,” Renee was smiling in a way that made it hard for Neil to tell if she actually wanted him to come or if she was just offering to be polite, but Neil did want to watch the game.

Neil heard himself agreeing to her offer as he shut down the computer and collected his things that had been strewn across the table: a pen,  a textbook, two books, and a collection of loose-leaf paper with notes about Exy plays scribbled across them.

He entertained Renee’s small talk as she escorted him out of the building. As they crossed the threshold, she said, “Neil, just remember that if you ever need anything I’d be happy to help you.”

Neil thanked her quietly, and walked into the night. He knew that he spent too much time at the library to pass as a boy with a normal home life, and was surprised but a little pleased that anybody had noticed. He knew he only had a couple years to live no matter what he did, so part of him wanted to make those years count.


End file.
